God has a way of always bringing encouragement jus when we need it. After gaining alot of ground physically with a wonderful physician over spring break and hoping that I was done with the pain, symptoms - less severely pain but now covering a larger area - have returned.

The last three weeks have been very low, my heart feeling appathetic toward trying to exhort when I see so much apathy, yet it's been my fear and small-mindedness that's held me back, and though I'm still just beginnig to pick up the pieces, God has begun to bring refreshment.

I'm running for Sophomore class chaplain for the fall, which has already led me to meet some incredible, mind-blowingly inspiring and encouraging and challenging men and women of God. I still feel somewhat stifled spiritually, but God has not left me without comrades - I've just got to look for them, and they are here.

Yesterday my friend Lee who just had surgery for melenoma (for the second time) bought me lunch. As we were leaving he said to me, "hey, smile man - God's in control no matter what you do." I know he knows what he's talking about.

Easter break begins tomorrow. It's time to refocus for the last 4 weeks - crazy!! - of my first year of college.

Cedarville is beautiful in winter. The lake frozen solid, snow blanketing everything. Temperatures have hovered between -5 and 20 for the last three weeks. Cold is an understatement. But I love the constant snow. The sunrises are breathtaking in color, and I get to see it every morning...one of the few things that makes 8am class every day survivable.

Two weeks ago my dear Mom came to visit me. We had a wonderous time! She fit in so amazingly well, instantly getting to know people and pouring encouragement out everywhere! She challenged all of us music majors greatly, and left us with a powerful vision for seeking God together. A new fervor swept through the air; God's Spirit is moving powerfully. Now I see just how exact God's timing is. His ways aren't mine. I think He was preparing me, becase a week after she left (just over a week ago) I entered the practice rooms and opened my Brahms, only to find that the pain in my right wrist was so intense I could not push the keys down. I cancelled my lesson, but my teacher, Dr. Sachs (said "Zox"), said to come by anyway, and that was God's doing, because we spent my lesson time in prayer and in sharing how God was working in both of our lives. That night He brought two wonderful friends along to listen and cry with me, and ever since He's been showering me with His peace. I haven't touched the keys since last thursday, except for two occasions when I tried and immediately recieved a burning reminder that my tendons are hurt. Badly. At this point I won't be playing in the near future. I've begun an amazing video course on technique that will prevent injury...but can't heal injury. I can't run from the pain. It hurts really, really bad, physically yes but the rest of myself too. Yesterday was especially discouraging. I know the truth. The Psalms have been open often. I do have sweet peace about the situation. I know that God is already working through this. But that doesn't stop the hurt. Dr. Mortensen does think I'll be able to recover and move ahead, but the time-table is unknown.

The wonderful part is that not playing piano has little bearing on my ability to do God's will. Though my spirit is broken because I can't worship in the way that expresses my deepest love, my spirit loves God so much that one broken limb cannot keep the tree from branching out, from bearing fruit! If my branch is hurting, my bark will cry out with praises, my roots will drink deep and spread, the trunk will be strengthened and grow! And though my branch of highest esteem is twisted and torn, it would be unthinkable to withhold sap from the others, because they aren't my favorite. 

When all is said and done, everything of mine stripped away, all that remains is "Follow Me".

Psalm 144:1 "Praise be to the LORD my Rock, who rains my hands for war, my fingers for battle."

Christmas came, Christmas went, making memories with family and friends; taking road trips, celebrating, talking, enjoying each other was so wonderful!! 'Twas busy though, and I didn't get all that much wind-down time leading up to the 30minutes I had to pack my bag and run for the airport. Finding myself back in Cedarville two weeks ago had me in a daze. I felt like a man without a country. Then came the music-major reunion dinner in the cafeteria. Deep-hearted laugher and joyous song again erupted and I knew...I knew I was where I needed to be. Already God has set to work, and this semester has already surfaced many lessons, many painful truths and frightening flaws. But oh the matchless grace and wisdom of God!! He's in the business of making people whole.

Back at the 'Ville.

I love Cedarville.

Every day I get a bigger picture of God, of living as a Christian in my world, of being a part of His body.

18 credits worth of classes, filling my mind with knowledge, putting each new tid-bit through the fine grid of scriptural

Profs who love God and love to tell us about it.

Many music majors, filling my life with laugher, encouragement, and comradery like I scarcely hoped to be possible. 

Those few dearly close friends who are always ready to share words of encouragement, a word of advice, a smile, and of course most important of all, a hug or two or three...

Making music endlessly, in the heart, in the mind, on paper, on ivory, in voice alone and corperately. The more I learn it the more I love it, yes the more I love the Creator of it.

Jesus.Comrades.Music.Cedarville.

BANG!!!

Goodness gracious, I am done. Yes, done, Done, DONE!!! Finals are behind me with mininal mental scar tissue left behind...juried performance for my professors went wonderfully...and now, most of my dear friends have headed home, to their various corners of the country...a very strange feeling I have now, a strange one indeed! God has blessed me with THE most wonderful, crazy, exhuberant, godly group of musician friends. Oh the gut-splitting laugher, mind-numbing humor, loudness of singing, randomness of outburst, abundance of encouragement, deepness of bonding, sweetness of worship, and comfort of prayer we have shared over these last, so few, months! 

But tomorrow I come home...and that, that is the sweetest thing of all! "I'll be home for Christmas...you can count on it..." And in MICAH's case, you can LITERALLY count on it!!! You see, for the past two and a half weeks my dear brother has kept exact count of how many hours it will be until I arrive.  Micah, you are the greatest youngest brother a guy could ever have!!! I can't want to see you (and *you know who*, wink wink (shhhhhhh!!!!) at the airport tomorrow!!!! TOMORROW!!!!!!